The Expendables 2

        These days, almost every movie is like a Board Question Paper. The pattern is set. From ads and promotions you can guess what you are going to witness. More so in sequels, where you can read previous year's question papers and go in with same kind of expectations. So, do those expectations meet in The Expendables 2? Yes. Do you get to watch a superlative quality of cinema? NO.

         The Expendables 2 knows exactly what it wants to do. It doesn't want to do much, and that's fine since it pretty much lets you know right from the first scene. I didnt think it would be possible to come up with a crappier script than the first time around. But the writing team including Stallone himself has done the impossible. It is much much crappier. Infact there is no story at all. Its just a All-In-One Action Scenes collection. And if you dont mind that too. Then you are in for some serious fun.

         Its one of those movies people will have extreme opposite reactions about. Some would call it a Blockbuster. Some would call it a Snorefest. Personally, I have grown up rooting for these Action Gods - Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Jason Statham, Bruce Willis, Jet Li, Van Damme. And when they come together exploding heads, resisting gunshots and mouthing over the top one-liners, I dont care about the logic. I just want it to go on and on. Its like you are served with your favorite noodles without spoons/forks/chopsticks. Yes, you appear foolish eating them with your hands. But the taste is as delicious.

Good Things:
1. Old-Fashioned Action : Do you remember the last action movie which had a single action sequence without any special effects, just pure Raw action? No? Neither do I. Here it has been kept uncomplicated, no CGI , no computers, just old-fashioned special FX and a bunch of 40, 50, 60 and even 70 years old actors who still can do action movies, believe it or not.

2. Jean Claude Van Damme : One thing they have improved from the last time around is choosing a proper Villain for these many human Superheroes. Van Damme excels in playing the Bad guy. With that Roundhouse Kick, he is still as awesome.

3. Chuck Norris and Schwarzenegger : I just love saying it, Schwarzenegger. Gets a meatier role this time around and PERFORMS. One conversation between him and Willis is in-itself ticket-price-worthy. But still one would have loved a lot more of him. Chuck Norris is also there. With a Chuck Norris joke! As always, ridiculous but funny (Please refer to the noodles metaphor)

Bad Things :
There are too many Bad things to mention through a bullet list. Shitty script, vomit inducing Dialogues, single worst performance of an otherwise great career of Bruce Willis.

There is a possibility (happened with me) that while watching you would think of it as being Mind Numbingly Awesome. Then you will walk out of the theatre overview the movie again and say to yourself 'What kind of crap was that?'. So, the best way is to treat it like having fun staring at that cute girl in the bus but never remembering her face again. Eat it. Spit it. Forget it.

My Rating :